Kari Adams

Kari Adams

STORIES

Kari Adams

Kari shares her struggles during her journey, and continues to encourage women going through miscarriages, loss, and infertility.

@karilanea

"Honestly, the two miscarriages in the beginning really broke me. I struggled to know who I was after the trauma."


Her Story

I love to be in control. I love to be so prepared in any situation that I not only have the knowledge of what may come but also a strategy to combat each of those outcomes. I have always been able to overpack, overstudy, over prepare until the world of infertility came in and reminded me everything was out of my hands. This personality trait alone made me ill fit for the world of infertility. A world where control is a joke and you live within an everchanging itinerary.

As a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner, I felt I had a solid foundation of knowledge to be "prepared" when we decided to have a baby. I studied ovulation charts and basal body temperatures. Just as planned, within a few months, we were pregnant. Easy. Unfortunately, there is no level of medical knowledge that prepares you for a miscarriage. I knew it was a possibility, of course, but I didn't think it would happen to me. This was not the plan.

I think this is a unique hurt we place on the infertility community. We have created a world in which talking about loss or fetal demise is off limits and, therefore, so much is unknown about how to respond to people who are walking through it. Most people didn't even know we were trying to have a baby. I was scared to let people in. At the same time, I didn't know how to live in a world where I was full of darkness and pain but had to walk around pretending that everything was okay. Pretending that I didn't just lose my baby and my future family. Unknowing at the time that it was about to happen again.

Honestly, the two miscarriages in the beginning really broke me. I struggled to know who I was after the trauma. After the heartbreak. I would fluctuate back and forth between wanting to make a giant change in the world and being completely unable to function, while of course making Google searches and lists to ensure that this would never happen again. I had retrospectively gone through each action leading up to the losses to see the breakdown points that would contribute to this loss being my fault. I was obsessed with “fixing” this problem. In case it needs to be said, you did not cause your miscarriage. This was not your fault.

There are so many points that I want to cover. I want women to know that I have been there too. I have sobbed against my spouse’s chest while dressed as Winnie the Pooh post ultrasound. I have given death stares to random pregnant women. I have judged who “deserves” to have a baby. I have taken hundreds of pregnancy tests. I have also imagined lines, made up symptoms, cried on the floor of the bathroom. This journey is hard. It’s really hard. It’s living for months or years in a land where hope and fear collide.

We were terrified walking into the Fertility clinic. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. We did medicated cycles and IUIs. We lived in monthly reminders that we were broken. Monthly anniversaries that we were incomplete. Then we got transitioned into IVF. It felt incredibly hopeful and unbelievably hopeless simultaneously.

We made it to our first egg retrieval after discovering cool, fun, new places to do hormone injections: bathrooms, airplanes, restaurants. Seven eggs, turned into 5 embryos. Our story was changing. We were so hopeful.

Then, just two. Two embryos compatible with life. Two little baby boys. We loved being their Mom and Dad. We knew they would come home with us. We knew when we got the call that I was pregnant that this time was different. But it wasn’t. In one phone call, our future, our boys, our Christmas miracles were taken away. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. So, right now, it hurts. And it’s heavy. But this isn’t the end of our story. Who knows what the end will look like.

It is okay to be broken and brave, simultaneously. So as we restart IVF, if you have someone in your life that needs a letter of encouragement. It’s our time. Let’s change the world.

Related Stories

Marnay Myer

"Little did I know as he was fighting for his life, I would be fighting for mine."

Lauren Nix

"It's okay to grieve the birth story you thought you woud have, while also honoring the birth story you have."

Sadie Powell

"On the 8th day of Jack's life, he experienced complications and passed away. The heartbreak engulfed my body but my baby was at peace and not experiencing any discomfort or pain anymore. As difficult as this experience was, I am not the only mother to experience it, nor will I be the last."

Next post

38 comments

  • CORNER STONE

    Hi everyone, I made a promise to myself that I was going to come back here and testify about the great job of Schwartz Software Hackers Services , schwartzsoftwarehackingprogram at gmail dot com
    did for me with their magnificent hacking skills, they didn’t just get back my scammed money i invested with a fake investment company that was almost $810.000 but to my greatest surprised I got back the money I invested but they also use their sophisticated skills to get even more than the money I invested that was found in the scam wallet during the period of recovery the transfer all the funds back to my wallet which was even more than I expected. If you have been wondering and looking for a way to get back your scammed funds of any kind, I will suggest you quickly get in contact with schwartzsoftwarehackingprogram@gmail.com or you can also get in touch with them through telegram.

    Email: (schwartzsoftwarehackingprogram@gmail.com)

    Telegram : https://t.me/schwartzsoftwarehackers

    Website; https://schwartzsoftwareha.wixsite.com/website

  • CORNER STONE

    Hi everyone, I made a promise to myself that I was going to come back here and testify about the great job of Schwartz Software Hackers Services , schwartzsoftwarehackingprogram at gmail dot com
    did for me with their magnificent hacking skills, they didn’t just get back my scammed money i invested with a fake investment company that was almost $810.000 but to my greatest surprised I got back the money I invested but they also use their sophisticated skills to get even more than the money I invested that was found in the scam wallet during the period of recovery the transfer all the funds back to my wallet which was even more than I expected. If you have been wondering and looking for a way to get back your scammed funds of any kind, I will suggest you quickly get in contact with schwartzsoftwarehackingprogram@gmail.com or you can also get in touch with them through telegram.

    Email: (schwartzsoftwarehackingprogram@gmail.com)

    Telegram : https://t.me/schwartzsoftwarehackers

    Website; https://schwartzsoftwareha.wixsite.com/website

  • Lewis Shoults

    I’ve always taken pride in being an American. Values like hard work, perseverance, and resilience are at the core of who I am. I’ve spent years building my savings through careful investments, and my family counts on me to secure our future. So when I realized that I had accidentally locked myself out of my Bitcoin wallet, which contained nearly $700,000, it felt like my entire world had come crashing down. For someone who values independence and self-reliance, this was the most helpless I’d ever felt. I had always managed to solve problems on my own, but this time, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fix it.
    I was devastated. I couldn’t believe that all those years of hard work, sweat, and sacrifice were locked away, possibly lost forever. I tried every trick in the book reinstalling wallet software, searching for lost backup files, and reading endless forums. But nothing worked. I was at the point of accepting defeat, but deep down, I refused to believe it was over.
    One evening, while browsing through a Facebook group dedicated to cryptocurrency, I stumbled upon a discussion about recovery services. People were sharing their experiences, and one name kept coming up: DIGITAL RESOLUTION SERVICES. The group members had nothing but praise for them. Initially, I was skeptical, as there are so many scammers in the crypto space. But seeing the positive feedback gave me hope, and being a man of action, I decided to reach out.
    From the moment I contacted them, DIGITAL RESOLUTION SERVICES was nothing short of professional. They didn’t make any unrealistic promises or guarantees, which I appreciated. Instead, they calmly explained the recovery process and assured me that they would do everything in their power to help. Their communication was clear, and they were transparent every step of the way.
    To my relief, DIGITAL RESOLUTION SERVICES proved to be everything I had hoped for. In just a few days, they had successfully recovered my Bitcoin. I could hardly believe it when I saw my funds restored. It was like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
    What impressed me even more was that they took the time to educate me on securing my wallet better, so I wouldn’t face this problem again. Their integrity and dedication reminded me of the core values I hold dear. If you’re in trouble, DIGITAL RESOLUTION SERVICES is the team you can trust. They truly represent the professionalism and resilience that make this country great. CONTACT! DIGITAL RESOLUTION SERVICES For assistance with the details below,
    EMAIL: digitalresolutionservices@myself.com
    WHATSAPP: +1 (361) 205-7313
    Regards
    Mr Lewis Shoults.

  • jennifer bryner

    I am a car repairer in Berlin, and last year I fell victim to a crypto scam, losing over €129,670 to an individual posing as an expert named David. It was a devastating experience, and I felt hopeless. Fortunately, I found Jet Web Hackers, who offered their assistance. They were professional, supportive, and dedicated to helping me recover my lost funds. Thanks to their expertise, I was able to reclaim a significant portion of my money within weeks. I am incredibly grateful to Jet Web Hackers for their help and encourage others to be cautious in the crypto space

    reach out to JETWEBHACKERS, on their

    EMAIL:jetwebhackers@gmail.com

    TELEGRAM: @jetwebhackers

    WHATSAPP: +1 (704) 252-2290

  • Elvin Glynn

    iBolt Cyber Hacker – Best Cryptocurrency Recovery Service Provider

    One of the standout qualities of iBolt Cyber Hacker is their transparency throughout the recovery process. Clients are kept informed at every stage, ensuring that there are no hidden fees or surprises. This builds trust and gives users peace of mind as they work toward recovering their funds.

    iBolt Cyber Hacker has established a solid reputation for a high success rate in recovering lost cryptocurrency. Their past clients’ positive reviews speak volumes about their ability to tackle even the most challenging cases.

    Email: Support @ iboltcyberhack. co m
    Cont/Whtp +39, 350..929, 0318
    Website: https :// iboltcyberhack. co m/

Leave a comment