Here, a member of the Nemah community shares her story of exactly how different her pregnancies were and drops some real mom knowledge on things you can expect your second (or third, or fourth!) go round.
We've said it before, but here it is one more time, for the people in the back. No two pregnancies are alike. We're not just talking about how your pregnancy is different from your sister's, or your best friends, or any member of the Royal Family. We're talking about how each of YOUR pregnancies can (and will) be different from each other.
Before we conceived our now five-year-old daughter, I miscarried...twice. So, when we found out I was pregnant again, I walked on eggshells for the entirety of my first trimester and tiptoed into the second. I was afraid to get too comfortable with actually being pregnant in case something were to happen...again. After multiple reassurances from our doctor that this baby was healthy and thriving, I finally allowed myself to get excited and feel all the feels.
I was a ball of mommy-to-be energy. I exercised daily. I nested like a fiend. And (other than being a week overdue during the hottest part of the Texas summer), I had an uncomplicated, easy pregnancy resulting in the birth of our healthy, beautiful baby girl.
Four months after having our daughter, I found out I was, yet again, pregnant—don’t ask. I didn't know what to think. Honestly, I was so busy taking care of our INFANT; I really didn't have much time to think. I just went along doing all the things you do when you have a new baby. I exercised. I played with our daughter. And I got as much sleep as anyone does with a four, or five, or six-month-old.
Then, one day, after a particularly long stroller expedition, I came home, went to the bathroom, and there was blood. Not just some spotting. Blood. I panicked. Waves of fear came crashing over me as held back tears and prayed as I laid on the floor with our six-month-old baby, “Please, God, not again.”
Per my doctor's orders, we rushed into the hospital, where the steady woosh of our baby's heartbeat and an ultrasound confirmed that the baby was fine (THANK GOD) and that the hemorrhaging was due to a subchorionic hematoma.
As it turns out, subchorionic hematomas aren't that uncommon. Huh? I'd spent the better part of the past two years pregnant and devouring every book/blog/whatever on pregnancy. So how is it that I had never once heard of a subchorionic...anything?
The short answer? Because you can't know it all. And no matter how much you think you know, pregnancy and motherhood have this uncanny ability to throw all kinds of curveballs. Thinking you've got it all figured out will serve you about as well as pre-pregnancy high-waisted jeans in your third trimester. You gotta check that ego at the door.
Whatever you are doing, it is enough.
The good news is that there is something to be said for having been through this whole pregnancy thing before. Mainly, you'll be more in touch with your own body, making it easier to recognize the changes you are going through. Use that mamma knowledge to cut off some of those uncomfortable symptoms at the pass and maybe prevent them altogether.
The not-so-good news? You have been through this whole pregnancy thing before. And now, in addition to being pregnant, you're chasing another little person (or more!) and getting rest will be a little trickier. You may not be feeling that pregnancy "glow" you may have felt with your first. You may not have the time (or energy) to do the monthly belly photos or get the nursery Pinterest perfect. Whatever you are doing, it is enough.
We are all unique beings, and every pregnancy will have its own set of twists and turns. Some go-rounds may be easy, and some will present obstacles that will challenge you to your core. Whatever the case, it is your journey.
So please, sweet, tired, mamma, don't spend one more second comparing pregnancies. Not your own, not yours to anyone else’s. It is a tremendous waste of time and energy, and let's face it; those are two things as mom’s we don't have nearly enough of as it is.
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