Knight — two dimples, olive skin, deep blue eyes, and an indescribable sweetness I've never met. He looks just like his older sister and is perfect in every way. We connect immediately in the OR as the doctor pulls him from the same scar where his brother and sister entered the world and took their first breaths. The scar that has taught me so much – how powerful the female body is, how to be gentle and gracious with myself, and how beautiful the imperfections really are. Over the years, my appreciation for this beauty mark has grown and today I feel that emotion so deeply.
He knows me. He knows my voice, my smell, and he’s totally peaceful once in my arms. I feel like we’ve known each other for a lifetime and in that moment we’re the only two on earth, the only thing that matters. He immediately latches, and we are one.
Newborn life is everything all at once. Even through the magic of our bubble, I’m quickly reminded how raw and tender these first few weeks of postpartum are. As women, we are sold a fairytale and so much of it does feel to be just that, but there is also another reality to pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. As a mother of three (still getting used to that one!) and someone who has been in both places, it’s important to me to share both sides. Ultimately, it can be both the fairytale bliss and a complete crash all at the same time…AND THAT’S OKAY.
There is a sense of restlessness and peace that settles in as we leave the hospital. The world feels perfectly complete and utterly chaotic simultaneously. These first few hours and days together hold a multitude of emotions and beginnings, and I try to stay present for each and every one.
Some realities, however, are easier to stay present to than others. I’ve forgotten about the fatigue, exhaustion, pain, soreness, night sweats (oh the night sweats!) and the throb of my boobs transitioning into giant watermelons. This time around, the baby fog has been so intense. I’ve become shit at making decisions. Maybe that’s the two toddlers, or how quickly I know I’ll be jumping back into work, or just the sheer fact of my third abdominal surgery in three years. Even trying to decide something as simple as what’s for dinner feels almost impossible. My concentration is fleeting, and it’s hard not to feel like I’m always just one step behind—like I’m mentally wading through waist-deep water.
"These days I’m living in the realm of “both/and”. I’m exhausted, and deliriously happy. I’m both teary, and grateful. My body is both sore and healing, and it’s strong and resilient. I’m overwhelmed by the day-to-day, and still feel a deep sense of peace that I’m exactly where I’m meant to be."
Of course, there’s a sense of beautiful joy at meeting my son, gratitude for our health, and deep love, but it’s coupled with lingering dips of vulnerability and an acute sense of my own limitations.
My nervous system feels overloaded and frayed. I’m easily startled and more anxious than normal as we transition into home life. I assure myself that it will all settle as sleep resumes and a schedule takes shape. If I’m honest, it’s hard to be patient and trust that this, too, is part of the postpartum process. It’ll just take time as I regulate, in the meantime I try to give myself grace and stay present.
I’ve been through this postpartum journey twice before now, and yet it still feels surprising and new. Maybe because I’m not who I was two years ago? I’ve grown, changed, made mistakes and failed, dreamed bigger, built more, and loved harder. Of course it’ll take time to settle into this new world, this world where Knight is here snuggling, cooing and nestling just beside me. And I’m so glad he’s here…I’m so glad he’s mine.
As I’m drifting back to sleep I remind myself of this…
These days I’m living in the realm of “both/and”. I’m exhausted, and deliriously happy. I’m both teary, and grateful. My body is both sore and healing, and it’s strong and resilient. I’m overwhelmed by the day-to-day, and still feel a deep sense of peace that I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. Here in the pile of diapers, with a million half-full glasses of water littered around my house, soft baby cheeks pressed against my chest, and nights where Madison and I collapse into each other at the end of the day— here’s where we’re home. Here’s where I belong.
Paul Becker
If you’re not familiar with cryptocurrency trading, I strongly advise you to either stay away from it completely or invest very cautiously. I was forced to invest a significant amount of my life savings on a forex platform to increase my profits, but I ultimately lost roughly 95,000 USD to this investment scam. I was not allowed to take my money out after I had invested and made a profit. I sent a letter to customer service, but it was ineffective, so I realized I had been duped. I was fortunate enough to come across a genuine deal retrieval WEB WIZARD after much looking for ways to acquire assistance. I decided to give it a shot and explained my condition to them. they gave me their word that they would help me get my money back. Honestly, they performed a fantastic job, and my money was recovered in my wallet in less than 24 hours without any upfront payment. I appreciate having encountered WEB WIZARD with such exceptional abilities, it’s truly remarkable.
TELEGRAM: @BestwebwizardRecovery
WHATSAPP: +1(410) 202-1161
EMAIL: bestwebwizardrecovery@consultant.com
OR: info@bestwebwizrecovery.com
WEBSITE: https://bestwebwizrecovery.com/
Zora Milka
LEGITIMATE CRYPTOCURRENCY RECOVERY SERVICES / HIRE OPTIMISTIC HACKER GAIUS.
Because of their established track record, dependable and effective services, and emphasis on customer satisfaction, OPTIMISTIC HACKER GAIUS is the greatest hacker for recovering lost or stolen cryptocurrency. The group has a plethora of experience and knowledge and has assisted many consumers in getting their money back throughout the years. In addition, the group recovers money swiftly, which is critical in the quick-paced world of cryptocurrencies.
You can chat with them on WhatsApp with +44 7376 740569
Website… https://optimistichackergaius.com
Telegram.. https://t.me/OPTIMISTICHACKERGAIUSS
Email.. optimistichackergaius@seznam.cz
Email.. optimistichackergaius@seznam.czsupport@optimistichackergaius.com
CAROLINE ALBERT
I’m posting this positive feedback about Century Web Recovery, the most credible and trusted cyber security and cryptocurrency recovery company. I was lucky enough to have benefited from their service when I lost my cryptocurrency ( USDT & Btc to be precise) I was able to contact Century Web Recovery Hacker company through their website and submit all the information about my lost cryptocurrency, Century Web Recovery did their investigation with proper professional assistance and transparency, Century Web Recovery was able to recover my stolen cryptocurrency within 72 hours of my request. I’m amazed by their service and I’m hugely grateful for their help in recovering my cryptocurrency. I recommend their services to everyone in need of a cryptocurrency recovery team.
Visit their website at; centurywebrecovery.pro
Email: century (at) cyberservices.com
WhatsApp (+14) (136) (316) (896)
Thomas Brown
LEGITIMATE CRYPTOCURRENCY RECOVERY SERVICES / HIRE OPTIMISTIC HACKER GAIUS
My name is Thomas from Germany. My cryptocurrency was stolen, which was an unfortunate thing for me. The situation started when I got an email at work alerting me to an attempted login from Indonesia on my wallet. The email directed me to a link where I could reset my password. My computer froze for several minutes after I clicked on the link. After rebooting, I saw that my wallet had been compromised and that all of my funds had been removed. However fortunately for me, thanks to OPTIMISTIC HACKER GAIUS, I was able to recover my stolen funds. You can also contact them if you require their services
Contact info:
Website.. http://optimistichackergaius.com
WhatsApp.. +44 7376 740569
Email.. support@optimistichackergaius.com
Telegram.. t.me/OPTIMISTIC HACKER GAUSS
Benas Lukas
Optimistic Hacker GAIUS, the top cryptocurrency recovery company, is renowned for providing all-inclusive services for regaining lost or pilfered bitcoin funds. It uses cutting-edge blockchain analytics technologies and forensic investigations to track individuals and assist them in regaining access to their digital assets. Experts in blockchain technology and regulatory compliance, its staff provides tailored solutions for problems like recovering money lost to fraud, scams, or hacking. More details via.
Website.. http://optimistichackergaius.com
WhatsApp.. +44 7376 740569
Email.. support@optimistichackergaius.com
Telegram.. t.me/OPTIMISTIC HACKER GAUSS