STORIES

Denay Gonzalez

Through a long and draining IVF process, Denay lost her baby, but never gave up hope

@denayg

"I never knew how difficult it was until It was me, 18 months of trying, countless nights of crying and pain, day-after-day of medication & injections. It was refreshing to speak with others around me about our journeys & understand we aren’t alone in this very dark hole of infertility"


Her Story

I am so glad to see more of this being brought up. Not everyone understands the journey through IVF, IUI, & infertility. It’s sort of a have to “experience it to believe (& understand) situation. I never knew how difficult it was until I came across my own journey of 1 1/2 years of trying, countless nights of crying and pain, day after day of medication & injections. To finally have received our miracle, Gigi Isabella, who is now 2!

It most certainly was the most horrifying, but beautiful experience of my life! I have never been in so much pain, mentally & physically. The agony of having to wait so long for results & realize it’s not just an instant answer. It wears on your body, your mind, your heart. And not just the actual pain of the injections, blood transfusions, but so many hormones making you feel… not yourself, & all these emotions wearing on you, aside from the physical pain. But there is nothing more beautiful to finally see what you fought for after so long. Gigi is my life. & I don’t know if it’s different for moms that have such a tighter bond (not that there isn’t one already!!) but I feel this need to be with my daughter all the time no matter how hard being a parent is, I need her with me.

I’m not too sure why infertility has become more common, but so many friends around me are going through the same issues. It was sort of refreshing to have been able to speak with others around me about our journeys & understanding we aren’t alone in this very dark hole.

Being a mother is THE most rewarding experience I could ever imagine and I only hope and pray for all the others to never give up on becoming a mom.

Then in April 2018 I got pregnant naturally after starting a process where they inject your significant other's blood into you. My body was for some reason rejecting anything “ foreign“ but sadly. 4 weeks later I lost that baby. But at this point I couldn’t give up.

Then countless hours waiting in a cold small room after extractions and implantations, it’s was a real-life hell!

Finally early sept 2018 I started bleeding once again and I thought this is definitely not going to work for me there’s no way in hell I’m going to be pregnant after so many times of trying so I took a pregnancy test and then that couldn’t even come out accurate it started going crazy instead of giving me just a positive or a negative so we rushed to the dr & he did a blood test, it was finally positive!!!

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"Before this it had been so hard to see all the pregnancy announcements being posted (although we were thrilled, it made us question our own journey)."

Sophie De Schutter

They said there was zero sperm. Even though my boyfriend wasn't fully awake, I saw wet eyes tears rolling on his face. It was the first time I saw him crying. It was also the first time I really saw that he wanted this for us.

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